I am currently in the grip of some rather nasty cold germs. I knew these germs had plans to travel to other humanoid locations to cause further misery so, having already booked time off, I decided to revoke their passports and cosy down with a hot toddy and a good book.
Whenever possible I choose to segregate invading germs from the outside world so as not to pass on the discomfort they inflict. As I hunkered down in front of a blazing log fire I began to ruminate on the similarities between the passing on of germs and the passing around of gossip and rumour.
It’s usually when our immune systems are at a low ebb that infectious germs are able to set up camp. Once they’ve set up camp they wreak havoc and generally make us feel pretty rotten. It’s much the same with gossip. The passing around of gossip is just as pernicious and can cause havoc and mental distress especially if the target of the gossip is going through a tough time and feeling vulnerable.
Let’s say that one of your friends has told you that they are going to get a divorce. You have absolutely no qualms about passing this piece of information on to another friend, after all, it’s a fact so it’s okay to do so, right ? Wrong!! Perhaps your friend isn’t yet ready for other people to know that she’s getting a divorce. Perhaps she’s only just come to the decision that she wants a divorce and her husband has no inkling of her intention. It can be very humiliating, painful and troubling when other people know things about us that we want to keep private. It can feel like a violation, an overthrowing of our trust when something that we thought was spoken of in confidence is found to be out in the open for others to judge. The passing on of gossip can make the person being gossiped about feel as bad, if not worse than if they were infected with ‘flu germ, only the effects of gossip can be much longer lasting.
You cannot stop others from gossiping but you can change what you do when gossip comes your way. When gossip comes in your direction ask yourself the following questions:
- Why do I feel the need to pass this piece of information forward ?
- How would the person feel if he knew this information was being passed around ?
- Would I want this information about me to be passed to other people ?
If you decide that the rumour is in any way hurtful or a breach of confidence you can choose to take a stand. You can make a personal choice to stay out of it by letting the gossiper know that you prefer not to hear what she has to say.
Is there not enough misery in this world of ours already without knowingly causing any more ?
Got a comment to make ~ go on, I’d love to read it.
